Flatmate

I unlocked my door and stepped in. What I saw jolted me.

It isn’t everyday that you get to see Cupid passed out drunk on your sofa.

True, I was now used to seeing him whizzing around the hall as I came back home, cursing the human world, heaven, and everything in between. But seeing him in such an inebriated state was quite disconcerting.

Coldplay’s Hymn For The Weekend was playing as I danced around the room, trying not to step on the shards of glass from the bottles that he had broken. Red wine had seeped through the carpet, creating a ghastly stain on it. Clearly, Cupid wasn’t in a good mood.

I kicked him, “Get up!”

Cupid groaned and turned over. He rubbed his eyes as the music vibrated throughout the hall.

“Yeah, baby! I’m feeling drunk and high, so high, so high!” Cupid whined along to the song. Red wine didn’t make his voice any better.

“What happened to you?” I yelled, frustrated.

“You. You happened to me,” he hiccuped, as the last strains of the song played.

I tilted his chin, looking him full in the face. His bleary red eyes glared back at me. His wings were flapping, purposely whacking my face.

“Ugh! What are your wings even MADE up of?”

“Pages from my favorite romantic novels.”

“…seriously?”

“Feathers, you dummy. Feathers,” he let out an exasperated sigh. “Why are you so stupid? Why can’t you go and fall in love with somebody so that I can go back to heaven?”

“But I DON’T want to fall in love! I’m perfectly happy with my life!”

“Well, I am not perfectly happy with my life!”he screamed.

There he goes again.

“All this pain of dealing with you because I made the wrong people fall in love! Jesus Christ!” He looked up, still cursing. “Do you not realize that I cannot escape this accursed punishment unless I find a mate for you?”

“Punishment? All I can see you doing is lounging around MY house. I’m the one getting punished, not you! I have to cook for two, clean for two, spend money for two…and all you do is break glass,” I gestured at the shards lying at my feet, “…and complain about me! You ungrateful wretch!”

Cupid was in as much as a rage as I was in. His fluttering wings would have looked quite pretty if they weren’t busy scratching my face. Feathery soft didn’t sound comfy right now..

“I’ll knock you off once I get my powers back,” he muttered.

“You and your stupid love arrows.”

“For the last time, I don’t use arrows anymore! I use love rifles! And thanks to you, I’ve run out of my last remaining bullets too! Now I will be stuck here for the rest of eternity!”

His alcohol high gone, Cupid dropped down on the sofa wearily. And just for a moment, I felt bad for the golden head that was bent in sorrow. Just for a moment.

“You hopeless creature. Go get me some more wine. I miss the liquor back home,” he sighed, as he tipped the last of the red wine I had illegally smuggled for him.

What an annoying flatmate to have.

 

 

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